So I spent six-plus days in Washington, D.C., the city where I met and proposed to Mommylibrium, for work meetings. Of course I missed my boys. The Missus made sure to put them on the phone with me a time or two. Still, some parts of fatherhood I didn’t mind leaving behind, like the following five items …
- Fights Over Nothing: If children ruled the planet, World War III could begin with a fight over a used Q-Tip, a Hot Wheels car or a stick. As long as one child wants it, the other will gnash his teeth until it’s his. And no peace treaty can stop the melee that follows.
- Late Night Wake-Up Calls: I shared a room with a co-worker during my business trip, and the worst you could say about him was that he snored a little. Big deal. My sons are expert at shattering my REM sleep. “I’m thirsty!” “I’m scared!” ” … I think I heard something …” “Daddy, why does our dog rub her butt on the carpet?”
- Leaving the House Demands “Ocean’s 11”-level Planning: When I turned 18 I realized something odd about my parents. It takes them forever to leave the house. Check the lights. Check the stove. Is the dog OK? Double check the lights. Now I know where that habit started. It takes an eternity to prep the boys for a car trip, long or short. Heaven help us during freezing weather. That requires extra time for mittens, hats and fights over which mittens and hats they wanna wear.
- Underwhelming Reunions: In the movies when a son hasn’t seen Daddy for a while he runs to greet him, and the hug lasts so long they have to fade to black. Every time I go away I get a shrug – if I’m lucky. I know they missed me. It would be nice if they put on a show for dear ol’ Dad.
- The ‘Never Enough’ Blues: During my first day back home we took the boys to a fun outdoor restaurant, gave them copious time at the park and tossed the football around. We didn’t go fishing, though, and that caused a major problem for our 2-year-old.
Then again …
While I was away my wife sent a text with the following image. Suddenly I felt like racing to the airport like they do in bad rom-coms and grabbing the first flight home.